The winds blew and time passed.
Mama passed.
We surrounded her with the deepest love,
soothed her,
were soothed by her,
and wept.
I lay next to her like I must have a thousand nights before, and whispered in her ear…
That I would be ok.
That I would live, thrive, find peace.
I whispered to my mama when she could only listen, that I would make her proud.
I will live a life that makes her proud.
________________________________________________________________________________________
A friend recently asked me what the word for my birthday is this year.
In one simple, powerful question she both challenged and supported me,
like only an old friend can.
It’s funny how a word, an idea can feel right, fit right.
Expansive
I’m ready to open up again,
start saying yes to possibilities,
start believing.
When I really look back on my life, all the greatest gifts of memory and connection have started from a simple yes, an openness to what was possible, even when the details, end result, destination wasn’t completely in view.
From the passing of my mother comes a birth of consciousness in me, a reminder that beauty and happiness are in the tiny, ordinary things…The gardens, birds, and sunrises, as much as stunning cliffs, rivers, and wild nights underneath endless stars.
There’s a place for both. A need to feel deep gratitude for both.
Expansive…In thought, in perception.
Of things both within and without.
The winds blew and time passed,
and I feel myself waking up slowly.
I will be ok. I will live, thrive, find peace.
I will live a life that makes me proud.
