There’s this critical moment each morning, as I’m lying in bed, that seems to determine my day’s fate.
As someone who used to happily and easily sleep nine or ten hours a night, waking up and lingering in bed has always been a treat…How many times as an adult do we get the opportunity to just laze around in bed in the mornings?!
I notice something now, though. Something critical. Lingering in bed turns a bright blue sunny day into an internal nightmare of despair for me. In the course of five minutes, my thoughts and anxieties can overwhelm and take over…
Good day turned bad.
Noted. Awareness of Self.
I read a quote yesterday from Elephant Journal:
At your core, you are not your reactions or your defense mechanisms. You are a vulnerable and sensitive being who learned to adapt, be strong, or hide your emotions in order to survive. Underneath it all is your true nature waiting to come alive.
This made me feel hopeful. Full of hope that underneath all this armor I’m still in here.
I find myself seeking awareness more than anything else right now. Noticing and observing and trying to understand.
Through understanding comes acceptance…And I have a feeling that through acceptance comes healing.
