Maybe it’s the hardest thing.
Rising up after we fall. Having the grit, the raw faith that there’s something worth getting up off our asses for, again and again.
In my darkest moments it’s the hardest thing. It’s so easy to fall…back into despair, back into a place of fear and overwhelm…And from there it’s so easy to lose sight of anything beyond the cloud.
But what sweet relief when, yes, the sun rises again. The literal and figurative dawn of the new day, and just like that I can see again…past whatever it was that consumed me the day or moment before.
Camping in the high country, there’s this experience we all struggle with if we’re not geared up properly…There’s a cold that builds and builds throughout the night. A cold to your core, Will this night ever fucking end, kind of cold. When the sun finally rises, there’s a release…A sense of relief from having come through something so intense and making it to the other side. It’s a triumph!
And then the world warms up and just feels normal and you pack your bag and head out to climb and when asked, you say, “Yeah I slept ok. You?”
We all experience that dark before the dawn so differently! Some people sleep through it and never know it’s there until they’re shaken awake by something. Some of us are awake for it often.
The thing is, with that dark cold comes the most amazing rays of light when the dawn finally breaks. It’s beautiful and inspiring.
Some people are geared up better than me. They have all the things that help them get through those moments before dawn, or simply sleep through them all cozy in their tent. As I learn to have faith that the dawn actually will come, I can see the beauty in that shift, and honor the strength I have to keep rising with the sun after the cold bitter night.
Eddie Vedder so beautifully sings…
Gonna rise up
Burning black holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold
He was definitely onto something. Rising up after we fall. Having the grit, the raw faith that there’s something worth getting up off our asses for, again and again. It might be the hardest thing, but damn are those sunrises beautiful.
Love it Sarah. Perhaps part of grit is also the ability to recognize it in yourself. You’ve got pounds of it! Much love sister
So much love to you, Jordan. Thanks for the kind words.